Exploring Faith and Spirituality

When I was barely five is when I started to pray to God. I didn't have any traditional upbringing in the church, but I knew that God was the only one who could help me. I suffered from extreme anxiety of death and what's to come after life. So I took to praying to God asking him to take away these anxieties and he did. It is in this origin that I build my faith. 

Looking back on my childhood and young adult years it seems strange to me now that I didn't know, or even bother to get to know Jesus. I believed then as I do now that God took care of all my needs, he loved me, and I was one of his favorites. I used to tell people "Don't worry I am taken care of" and I meant it. 

Before my son was born I was a mess. I moved out to Colorado looking for something new. I still believed in God, but I ignored him. I got into Cocaine, and other drugs. I was face down into the bottle, and drinking several gallons of that hard stuff a week. I was strung out in the back of an Audi looking for a hit when my best friend called. His mother died, and I could not be there for him. A few weeks later I packed up and moved back to Oregon

I quit that hard stuff, but the alcohol stayed for many years. I got myself a wife,  had my first son, and adopted two girls. Life was hard, but it was about to get a lot harder. My mother was stricken by a terrible illness that took her mind. My father was stricken with grief, and my first wife left me and my son high and dry with two lawn chairs and a 40" TV set.  

I got my son full time, and eventually my daughters too. That was all that mattered to me after the divorce, but I was down and out. I couldn't hold it together, and worst of all my children were suffering without a mother. I broke down hard, fell to the bed sobbing, and asked with every fiber of humility in me for everything I would need to be sure I never let my children down like this again. 

It was maybe the next day that I met Tabitha Shepherd, now Tabitha Cherry. My reward from God for the very little good I've done with my life. My proof I'm taken care of, my proof God loves me, my proof he provides what I need, and my proof that I am one of his favorites. She became the mother my children needed, the wife and best friend I needed, my guarantee that I would never let my children down, and ultimately my path to Jesus Christ.